Decisions

     
     Today I wrote my family to give them an update on the MSA progression and me. This was hard to type as well as hard to read. To imagine all this is going on with your friend, mother, sister and wife. It seems the MSA has advanced enough that even the Lifeline is not enough for me.

    


     

Since being diagnosed with MSA my older sister has asked to come take care of me.  She is so selfless but more than tat she is a great caretaker. The MSA is progressing fast and I cannot be left alone. I have a fall almost weekly; a swallowing issue where I cannot get any air almost daily, my voice is weaker and weaker and cannot go to far with my walker.

                                                  

                                           

     I am a very lucky person. Not only to have someone who wants to help take care me and loves me, but also loves my family.The fact that, it is not just a job and this person loves me and is also my sister. We have always been very close even when we were young.  There are 13 years between us and she has always been special to me. When I was young I went everywhere with her but when I was 3 she moved to Toronto to start her own married life and family.

      

      I was a heart broken three year old. Each time I would see a plane I would wave my arms frantically and cry out a version of her name and say, “Deretta come home, Deretta come home”. My mother took me to Toronto to my sister’s wedding. I was so happy too see her, but I said to her that she was married now so she would not be coming back home.

     

     Of course she came for vacation and anytime I got mail from her I would get excited. She would always send a birthday card that had a princess on it and a silver dollar. One summer when she came home I even asked if she were my real mother. We get a kick out of that even now.

    
      A couple of years ago after I was diagnosed with MSA, there was this woman I wanted to meet. She had MSA for three years by this point, more advanced than I.  I brought this sister but I have to wonder was someone sending a message to my sister reminding her what would be involved in helping take care of someone with MSA.

    So I guess the time has some time to admit I need help and will take me sister up on her offer. Also from this point forward I will always have someone with me or let people know I am okay.  I know this will ease a lot of minds but for me it is another thing I will loose.

 I am very fortunate to have this love and that it will have made a full circle!