My Lifeline

     It seems the MSA is progressing fast now. I have falls daily, which is more like a tree than a sack of potatoes. I will have to learn to shout, “timber”. I was trying to clean the counter top but I fell from the stove along the counter top to the sink. It reminded me of a bar scene, where the cowboy clears the bar off, glass and all. Well, that is what it was like, thankfully nothing got broke and I did not get hurt. I don’t cook anymore because I might touch one of the burners with my balance issues and the pot is too heavy for me. Plus, I cannot walk with something in my hands, I might need them. I usually just have yogurt or fruit something that does not need much preparation. I also have trouble with cutting and getting things out of the fridge. To think the swinging door is enough to throw my balance off, stuff I took for granted before. 

     Another symptom of MSA that happens more often, is choking. Not necessarily on food but sometimes liquid, it can be my own salvia. Usually, something I swallow will trigger a throat spasm, then I start sucking wind. I had one of these. I was alone and it lasted for what it seemed too long. I started down the hall to the neighbors. It is as if the throat is having a Charley horse.  I know there is nothing that can be done, you have to relax, but it is hard when you cannot breathe.

     Each day, before going to work my Hunny usually brings my walker and puts it beside the bed with my black berry and the phone with the headset attached. He is such a great guy and I thank God for sending him. I think if he was going to send me this disease, MSA, then at thankfully he sent me someone I could trust to be with me. He does all the cooking and cleaning and taking care of me.

     One day the phone was ringing on my walker, and I went to answer it but without warning I fell. My butt landed on the headset and my arm remained on the walker so my shoulder got wrenched. I could not get off the headset or the floor. I could not lift myself up and my legs were not able to support me. No matter how hard I tried I could not get up.  I sat on the floor and cried and my husband came home to pick me up. Thankfully, he was close. When I fall, I keep falling to the right and try to save myself with the left arm. I went to the hospital to have an x-ray to make sure nothing was broke. I used a TENS machine and physiotherapy with CCAC. It is not getting better and I have to stop falling on it.

     After these experiences, we decided to get a lifeline. So, the representative came from Phillips Lifeline to install it. It has become necessary. The Lifeline can detect when you have a fall, there is a speakerphone that they come on and they have a list of contacts you give them. If you need this person they will call but, if you need 911 they will call also. I know this is hard for the family as well. I see the anguish on their faces, so I started to refer to it as the baby monitor or should I say mommy monitor... So, now I wear the Lifeline (baby monitor) around my neck, this puts their mind at ease and mine. It is terrible to think that most people who get the Lifeline, it is a matter of life and death situation but, they are not cheap. So, you know for a lot of people, if it is a matter of the Lifeline (video) or groceries, they will of course pick groceries. I feel like most things for people who are sick are too expensive. Of course, there is no money to be made with healthy people. 

     I try to be humorous when I can and do pretty well. When I want to do something that other’s worry about me. So, I say,” the Nanny Cam isn’t on, so I can do what I want”. Remember when those were around, there were a small cameras hidden in stuffed animals. Working parents used them to spy on their childcare provider when they were not there. This reminds everyone to laugh and even though I don’t want them to worry, I am still going to do what I want, when I can and no one is watching.

But above all I am not going through this alone!