Easter 2011

   

     I have always been big on tradition, and Easter is no exception.  Each year, we make a recipe called Easter Bread.  My grandfather brought this recipe with him from Romania over 100 years ago.  My mother made this bread each year for her family and I do the same.  Thankfully, my children love these traditions as well and enjoy making this bread, as it is a big job.  We usually set it Holy Thursday and let it rise all night and cook it on Good Friday.  I know it is possible to buy the quick rise yeast for the dough but we like the tradition, and part of that tradition is setting the bread Thursday and baking it Friday.  

 This year, my son made the whole thing, I 
basically just told him the ingredients and he made it.  He even did all the kneading, which is hard labor.

 

  Friday my son, daughter and her

fiancé came to finish baking the bread. It brings lots of pleasure seeeing the bread spill over the sides of the pan. It is all wrapped up and sitting in the chair, my kids love the feel of it when it is like this. It is a whole day affair. The smell through the house was great and so comforting. When things are changing so fast around you it nice to have some things you can count on. I love being able to count on my kids to appreciate tradition!

     My niece arrived from Thunder Bay for the weekend on her way to Cape Breton. She is going to school and taking Recreation Therapy.  She spent the weekend with us. It was nice to treat her to some pampering. We went in the pool and her and my daughter did some site seeing as well and chatted.

     Sunday, for dinner we had my niece as well as my friend and a friend of my son’s, who went to RMC with him. He has been at our house many times in the past, so it was nice for him to see where we are now. We had turkey, buffeted carrots and yams. It took awhile to prepare so we started early, at least to get it ready to cook. When I am peeling carrots and yams it is so difficult now, anything with repetitive motion. It is impossible for me to slice the carrots or yams, so Hunny usually slices them for me. We had a very nice meal and lots of laughs and shared memories. My niece left for Cape Breton Monday morning, I think she had a great visit. 

That afternoon, my other niece and her fiancé ,who are from Ottawa, dropped in, along with my nephew,his wife and their children (who are adorable), my nephew’s mother-in-law and their friend. It was nice to visit and see everyone once again. My nephew's son did not want to get his picture taken but his sister,well let's just say you have heard of "Where's Waldo"?  My nephew was in the process of moving to Ottawa this summer along with their mother (my sister) and father. It is nice to join the family that is already here. 

I have a dfficult road ahead, so need all the family I can get.

  

Now this event is over, on to the next which is a Friday the 13^th Wedding!

Don't Be Late for the Bridal Shower

      We have always wanted the best for our children and my daughter has found what is best for her, she married her soul mate on May 13th.

We are so happy for them and wanted to celebrate, so I had a Bridal Shower for her. My husband, sis and friends helped me organize it.  It was an Alice in Wonderland tea party.

     I prepared and sent out the invite. It is so easy with email. I was able to create an event on Facebook, which everyone used to RVSP. My daughter had been living with her fiancé for a while and his weekend hobby is working at Personal Edge and my daughter had worked at Stokes, so you can imagine the items and kitchen gadgets they have accumulated.  That being said, everyone was asking what to get as a gift so I suggested on the invite to bring something for a honeymoon. 

     Lucky for us, there is a community room in our building, which we can rent. We did just that. The day of the shower my Hunny went and bought a bouquet of flowers for our little girl and some balloons.

     We had decorated with the Alice theme. We had teacups for everyone and lots of goodies, which had, eat me and drink me on them.  The food and tea were a hit but the favorite was the Long Island Iced Tea.

We had fun preparing the games 

and the keepsakes.  We played, how well the Bride knows her groom, Bridal Family Feud and other games. Everyone had fun! 

 

     I invited 25 of her closet friends and friends of the family to help celebrate this happy occassion.I was probably as nervous as the Birde because I knew my speech and balance were so affected.  Only a couple of my daughter's friends knew of my condition and I am always concerned that people will think I am drinking, especially when there is alcohol at the event.

 Inside I was very shaky not wanting to stumble or stutter. More pictures can be seen of this special occasion. Jess' Bridal Shower  My daughter got some beautiful gifts for her shower. I was so happy for her that everyone made it and helped make the shower so memorable. 

     I wanted to give our daughter a toast and had practiced quite a few times at home. During these rehearsals I would practice in front of the mirror and try to speak loudly and clearly. A big problem with MSA is voice projection. My brain thinks I am shouting when in actuality I am speaking very low.  My throat even feels strained when talking. Also because the tongue is a muscle it gets tired and therefore looses strength in volume and audibility. 

    It came time for my toast and my biggest fear became a reality. I could feel the tears coming and I tried to laugh it off. Which is another symptom of the MSA, uncontrollable laughing or crying. Thankfully I have the laughing but on this day it was a little of both, so there I was trying to make a toast to my daughter while laughing and crying. I thought I could be strong enough to hold it in but could I not. I think you can't help it and the mind starts to wander. I got it together and toasted my Fille and her future husband and I was so happy to be able to celebrate with them. 

     We have gathered today to help celebrate Jessica and Allen's  wedding, I want you to know how wonderful and proud  it is for me to see my little girl all grown up.

Watching you get ready for one of the biggest days of your life is so special and I will never forget it.  I am so glad you found Allen, the man of your dreams and I can't wait to see you to join him in marriage.

To my beautiful daughter, Jessica!

Becoming a Mermaid

     We were living in the condo for a couple of months and realized it was the best move we could have made. It was a great building with great people, a great community life and I found out that a good friend of mine was only 3 KM away. 

     There is a group of women who get together three times a week for aqua fitness and they wanted me to join. This group refer to themselves as the Mermaids, so I became the Littlest Mermaid.  We meet three times a week for a half hour class, I always feel good after this and then we go to the sauna for a few minutes.  The Mermaids did not know I had a condition and certainly not MSA.  One day, I was swallowing just my salvia and my throat started to spasm. The pool is loud and we have music going so no one realized there was a problem but I could not breathe. I got out of the pool and started going to the dressing room still unable to breathe. It is weird when something like this happens, it is as if everything slows down, and everyone is moving in slow motion. I thought it probably was not a good idea to go to the dressing room because if I did pass out no one would know I was there, as the Mermaids still did not know I was having breathing issues. I turned and came back that is when they saw something was wrong and I was still not breathing.  

    When this happens there is nothing that can be done but try to get the throat to relax. I had already changed my diet and eat no or little crumbling things like crackers. It is rare that I have peanut butter and I have to be careful with pasta and lettuce. These slide down the throat easy but sometimes get stuck going down.

     A couple of the women got out of the pool and tried to 

calm me down, then they took me back to my condo and I called my sister who came to stay with me. I am very lucky to have a sister near by. She is one of my older sisters and a sweetheart. I see the hurt in her eyes whenever MSA comes up, she feels so helpless but just knowing that I have this kind of support is wonderful for me, especially now. She and few others call to check on me each day. Truly, I do not know what I would do if I did not have this support. The thing is you have to talk about it because things are changing quickly but you do not want that to be all you talk about. I am lucky in that I do have a big family so I can talk to different people so as I do not have to talk about my problems to the same person. MSA is already consuming my body and I do not want it to consume my conversations as well.

       

     I was very embarrassed to be causing all this commotion and attention and did not know if I would go back, but that day I was sent an email by the mermaids saying how they did not want this incident to keep me away.  The next class I told them what was going on, I told them to please discuss it and if they did not want me to attend I fully understood. Who wants to go to class with the pretense that you may have to administer First Aid?  I did not want anyone to feel this way. I received another email telling me that they wanted me to return and that they did not feel they would have to perform First Aid. I feel like I have a bunch or mothers who genuinely care about me. I still attend and the group has become quite fond of me and I, them. We have regular pot lucks and lots of laughs!

      

 I also have a friend near by. We were posted together in Alaska so we have known each other a long time, about 17 years.  She comes frequently and takes me for walks, and shopping and is helping me with my daughter's up coming Bridal Shower.  So that is what I am focusing on, my little girl is getting married!

March Break

   

   We were pretty settled in our condo by  the beginning of March. That meant it was time to start entertaining!  Our first visitors were friends of ours from Barrie. They dropped by to say hi. Even though we moved from Barrie back in 2000, we still have good friends there. It was nice to see them and show them our new digs. Actually, it was a big year for this group as a lot turned 50!

     I will not be driving anymore so we decided to sell Max, my smart car we had bought for me to drive to work, and to to errands around town. I knew this would be giving up a lot of my independence but, I knew I'd have to consider others safety, too, as my reflexes are not the same.  I’ve only had my Smart car for a year and just love it, it is great on gas and I never have a parking issue but I know this is best for everyone and only minor in what I will lose if you look at the big picture.  So, I said goodbye to Maxwell Smart and a part of my independence.

      I am fortunate in that I have a very large family, 12 members in fact. If they all take a turn in visiting each month we will take up a whole year. Our first visitor is a sister that is just three years older. She came for March  Break to spend it with me. I know how hard it is on my family to see me is this condition. I was always considered the health nut of the family. 
     It is funny having a condition like this because everyone wants to help you but you want to do things the way you always used to. My family is no different, so I had to remind my sister that there will be lots of time in the future to do things for me, but now she had to let me do them while I am still able. I started to say a phrase to add some humor and break the awkwardness. If they see I am having a hard time cutting something and they want to help, I just say to them, “You can’t stand it, eh, you want to do it, but I am not going to let you”.  This always gets a chuckle and they are able to relax and wait for me to ask for help if I need it.

     We had nice visit with our other sister who lives in the city, lots of walking, some shopping and visiting some little cafes.  The area was still new so, we were basically exploring together. We even managed to get lost a couple of times. I got a phone call from some girl friends from Barrie asking if they could come visit, so I said, "Sure, when would that be?", and I was informed they were on their way, ha-ha. It looks like we are going to take advantage of the guest’s suites downstairs. 

     My poor husband was out numbered by woman, again. He loves all this distraction I am getting as it keeps my mind busy. My friends and sister hit it off and we had a blast. I teased them that they really came to Ottawa to visit my her. We took some pictures by the canal and I was accidently cut out of them, so I said, "This is proof that they did not come to see me". Ha Ha!

     We went to see Parliament, and walked by the Rideau Canal and went to the Rideau Centre as well. We had a great visit and laughed so much.  Just what I needed, food for the soul, love and laughter. 

     My friends went back to Barrie but I knew I would see them in a couple of months , it was a different story saying good bye to my sister.  Cape Breton is not next-door and I did not know when I was going to get to see her again or what condition I would be in when that time came. A year is like a lifetime with this disease, next time I saw her, I would probably have a walker.

But no time to think of this there is so much coming, like a Bridal Shower,Easter and a Wedding!

Downsizing and Upsizing

     
    The time had finally come to downsize our home but upsize our lives. 


This is something I kept reminding myself, as I got ready for the big move.  We took a month to pack and because we knew the transition would be tough we wanted to give ourselves time. Condo living here we come!

     On Valentine's Day we got the keys for the condo. We decided we would have sushi and champagne while looking at the view. When we opened the door there was a bouquet of roses and a teddy bear from Hunny and a bottle of champagne. Friends of ours had them delivered knowing he would not have time to do anything special that day, and the champagne was from the person we bought the condo from. We made a special toast to new beginnings and then I lit a candle and said a prayer for God to bless this house. I then went room by room and said a special prayer. More condo pictures: 

https://www.facebook.com/media/set/?set=a.10150411059805515.627947.683105514&type=1&l=56e381a272

 Back at the house...

    I only wanted to take what we were going to use, that meant a lot of things would be going. In my closet so many skirts and shoes would not be making the journey.  You see I love shoes but I knew I would not be wearing heels any longer or pencil skirts. These shoes I gave to a sister who also shares a love for shoes. Being all dressed up and staggering is not a good look for anyone. While cleaning out my closet, my daughter reminded me that if and when I do end up in a wheel chair I would still want to have nice shoes so I should not get rid of them all. I took her advice.  Very wise daughter for how young she is.

     Each day, when I was in the house alone, I was packing and crying.  I was not only purging my closet but my soul as well. I was truly mourning, not only the house but also myself. I knew I would never be the same again no mater how much I exercised, how many steps I took, or how much I practised, things are going to get worse much worse.

    
    
We had three levels, a garage and a shed, which we had to downsize to one. So much furniture, clothes, and tools.  Luckily, our kids live in town so we gave a lot to them, so, we were just helping them. We have lots of family and friends to give stuff to.  While packing, I came across this prayer someone is sending me a message.

     The first order of business was too bittersweet. It was giving our children ownership of their "stuff" we have been carrying around the globe for the past 25 years. That part was very liberating. Even though they were taking their possessions, there were so many memories that went along with them. We rented a U-Haul because not only were we giving them their own belongings but we were also giving them furniture and the gym equipment. It was a very tough time. 

     We then rented a U-Haul to move our furniture.  Some good friends and my family came to help us move the big items and to pack. They did such a great job moving us and it was great because they set things up as they moved them.  We stayed at the condo that night. I always left the drapes opened a bit to let the street light shine in. At one point my husband woke up and asked if I were okay, I asked him how could we not be?  Projected on the ceiling was a three-foot cross.  I knew then that I was in trusting hands. Those of My Hunny, sent by God, and those of God himself.

    The final day at the house I went up to my son's room with him.  We talked and reminisced; I know for him he does not have the same attachment to the house. He was only in this house for two weeks and it was off to Military College.  But for me I remember lying on his bed at that time crying because my boy was gone. We had a lot of good times here. All the times he came home with his friends from RMC, and friends that stayed because they were passing through, even though he was not there. Times he came home on vacations and when he helped his dad with remodeling for me.

      Our daughter stopped by as we were finishing up and to get a few more of her items. Her and I went to her room.  She had done so much growing here, so many friends and had so many parties. She had finished high school, started University, met her true love, moved to her own place, got engaged and so much more. I remember her moving out with her fiancé and crying thinking my little girl is all grown up. We just held each other and cried.

     It was time for Hunny and I to leave, we went to each room and remembered all the remodeling, plans, good times and the celebrations we had. I cried so much it is a wonder I have any tears left. We have moved so many times before both but we knew this is different; I am moving away from more than just a house. We left and went to join our kids for dinner at the restaurant.  My family is everything!