Making Christmas Part Two

     Now that the chocolates, squares and other goodies were ready it was time for fruitcake and decorating.  My mom made this fruitcake each year and she taught me. Now, I will teach my kids.  It is a big production but it is tradition. First, you have to cut up all the fruit, which I cannot do.  Not only is it hard because of the back and forth action, I do not have enough strength. Whenever we have steak, or beef or something that has to be cut my Hunny does this for me.  Even pizza he cuts into strips for me, and also puts a non-skid placemat under my plate for me. All of this is done without me having to ask. I cannot mix or stir, these are all symptoms of MSA.  My kids are very interested in tradition as well, so they will make the fruitcake and I will supervise.  We have lived in many places with the military so traditions became very important to us. It is a whole day affair to make this. Usually, I would make a lot and give it away but this year will have to be two dark and two light. We had a good day, lots of family time and the cakes turned out great.

      Time to decorate. It would   be the first time decorating  this Condo. How I miss my house right now, I did not realize how much we got rid of to move into the Condo. So many memories! But I would not let that show; it will just ruin Christmas for everyone. We were already facing enough challenges, not only MSA, but first time we will not wake up Christmas morning with  our children. We will just have to make new memories! 

      My daughter and I usually make hot chocolate, listen to Christmas music, which she brings, and decorate the tree. When we get to the top Hunny puts the angel on and when we are all done.  Every ornament usually has a date and year on it so we remise as we go though the box. My daughter was so patient, because of the MSA I cannot lean over because that will cause me to lose my balance, therefore, my daughter had to hand me each ornament to hang on the tree. But we got to discuss a lot of theses ornaments. I have some of my mothers ornaments and the kids from their from the time they were a baby. Each year I get them an ornament. Lots of good memories!

Making Christmas Part 1

       It is that time of year again, when we start the prep work to make Christmas happen. It is a big production in our family.  Usually, this time of year, I am busy in the kitchen making goodies but I cannot this year, I cannot put stuff in or take it out of oven, so that won’t be happening.  It is also usually the time I sit with our contact list and write out Christmas cards, but since I cannot write anymore, this will not be happening either. Both of these are symptoms of MSA, loss of balance and writing. Luckily, everyone in our family loves Christmas as much as I do, so we are going to one of my other sister’s to start it off.

     My sister, whom lives by the St. Laurent mall, came and we got the bus out to the "Workshop" – which was at my sister’s in Barrhaven. It was our first time taking the bus there and we had to transfer. We missed the connection, so it took us a lot longer to get there. When we finally did arrive (two hours later), I was so cold. It is another symptom of the MSA, bad circulation. So, when we arrived, I was putting extra clothes on instead of taking them off.

     Now that we had arrived at the workshop, it was time toget to work. We had peanut butter cups to make, chocolates and coconut balls. Amazing how long it takes me to do things now and also the things that are repetitious give me problems. MSA has affected my motor skills, which I use for tasks like rolling the coconut balls. My sister's grand kids arrived and wanted to help with the chocolates. It amazes me how tender, conscientious and courteous they can be. The grand daughter always was checking on me. She would open the freezer without me having to ask and even took my hand to help me. The children were so attentive and without judgement, if only we could all be more like this.

     It was my second oldest sister’s birthday coming up this month as well, so my other sister wanted to make a special cake. She makes amazing cakes! Martha Stewart has nothing on her. My sister had made a cake but it didn’t rise, so she threw it out and made another that didn’t rise either, so my brother-in-law who was at the store bought some baking soda, which we thought was the problem. We come to find out that that afternoon when organizing the kitchen she had mixed up the baking soda and baking powder, and that was the reason the cake wasn’t rising.  We had a good laugh and the birthday girl still got birthday cake, store bought, but a lesser penalty than Martha Stewart.




Making Christmas Part 2 comig up....

A Pre Christmas Visit

     I have mentioned that I have a large family, so if they each take a different month to visit it will take a year to go through them all. Isn’t it great!

      I realized how tough it is for my family to see me melting away. I was always strong and healthy before MSA, now I am weak and fragile. In one year, I went from running 42 km, to a walking stick and now a walker. You know what is down the line, and how far we do not know, for MSA progresses different for everyone.

 

    So, the next oldest sister next to me is coming for a visit. I have not seen her in a year and although I send regular updates of my condition it is different seeing someone and hearing from someone. The last time we saw each other, which was only eleven months ago, I was walking on my own accord, now I have Sky, who assists me. The first encounter will be tough.

 

     So, we picked my sister up at the airport, she is coming for two weeks. It will be nice to have some one on one time with her. The first night I planned a surprise potluck.  My other two sisters who live here in Ottawa,and their families. We had fun and lots of laughs!

    

      Over the two weeks, we took my sister to a few of our favorite spots, like Starbucks on the weekend and walking along Richmond Road, the Byward Market, and the Rideau Centre. It was the first time taking my walker on the bus. Thank goodness I was not alone for this, because I never would have been able to lift it on the bus. It is hard to believe just a few months ago I was getting compliments on my “pipes”. I would ride my Spinner while lifting weights. I had a routine of weights that I did 3 times a week...those days are over.

     We went to St. Laurent Mall where she got a beautiful dress at Melanie Lynn’s, another favorite store of mine. It is funny how the mind works. We were going to visit our other sister who lives close to the St. Laurent mall. First my sis who was visiting wanted to go to Cinnabon to get a treat to bring with us, we did that, but, when we get to my sister’s she tells us she made us homemade cinnamon rolls when she knew we were coming for a visit.
                        I suppose that is why they refer to it as comfort food.

      The highlight of her trip was when we went with my children to see the Transiberian Orchestra. It was a laser show to Christmas music. I knew she had not seen something like this. It was a great night!

     It was time to take her to the airport but it was not as hard to say good-bye because I knew I would be in Cape Breton for New Year’s, since my niece is getting married. So, Christmas and then I will be in Cape Breton to bring in the New Year!

Not Only

     It has been just over one year since my (our) lives were turned upside down. This MSA has sure taken a hold of my body, and we are trying not to let it control of our lives. This is not a milestone you want to celebrate!

     I often hear I should not be doing so much research, that I should curl up with good book. People do not realize how harmless that one expression can mean. There is no such thing as curling with a good or bad book for that matter. There are so many books I want to read, but it is so hard to focus on anything but medical, and  not only this, but it is impossible to curl up.

     When given this kind of news, it takes so long to absorb, and there is still hope they made a wrong diagnosis. You are always searching for a new angle, or something that may have been overlooked. You try not let your mind wander, that you will not only never be able to play or carry the grand kids,  you will never be able to be left alone with them...  Not only will you never dance, run, bike,  you will not walk eventually or talk. I love shoes but not only will I never wear heels again, but when choosing from the wardrobe you have to consider how easy is it to get in in and out of the clothing... We are in a beautiful Condo because not only will you never be in a house again, you would not be able to maintain it.   

     Earlier in the month, I was still going to aqua fitness three times a week. The ladies in this group are fabulous. I thought I might have to give it up soon because not only, can I not  last the whole class without having to go to the bathroom, but I am disturbing the class. Also, not only am I disturbing the class, I cannot speak very loud to tell them that I am going to the bathroom, and then I try not to slip on my way there. When I do go they worry about me until I get back. They are so sweet. It is not good for the psyche if you feel you cannot keep up with 70 year girls.

 

     The physiotherapist from CCAC came and was here for a while. I showed her around our gym and we developed a routine for me. We were going to use the Thera bands and alternate with aqua fitness. We ordered a TENS machine for my shoulder. When I lose my balance I tend to go to left side and have fallen on the left shoulder at least five times. I am sure if I had not been so active before I would have broken something because I have fallen on this shoulder so many times. So exercise does make our bones stronger. 
      We also decided to order a walker, to help this shoulder and not fall so much. I was becoming a wall walker. I got my walker; I was very upset with myself for a few days. I cannot do the floor workouts like before, and not only am I practicing things like talking and walking, but they are getting worse. Just another fact of life, with the new me! 

     I decided since I have to use this walker might as well give it a name and decorate it. I liked the name Sky because it could be Sky Walker or the Sky is the limit. So that is what she is referred to, Sky. We went to Westboro Sport store and bought a disco bell, it also has our family coats of arms on it and various other stuff. So I have a new companion now, Sky!

Halloween 2010

     I love Halloween! It is such a fun time of year. We always decorate the house, have scary music playing and get dressed up to give the kids candy. Of course we are kind and gentle with the young kids, but, we try to scare the older ones. It is always fun to see the young ones all dressed up. My son has been moved out for about 8 years but my daughter and I have a blast with this occasion. We always get treat bags fill them with goodies get in costume and hand them out to the kids.

    One of my favorite Halloween stories is when we lived in Winnipeg. My husband was in the military then and my kids were going with their friends. I knew I would prefer to see who was coming than to open the door to someone dressed in costume. 

About one week prior to Halloween, I stuffed a set of my husband’s clothes and sat it out front on a lawn chair, then the night Halloween arrived, I dressed up and sat in another lawn chair. I was a witch with long grey hair. I could hear these young people coming, they were loud and swearing. I thought I would fix them. So, I covered my face with the hair and sat very still in the chair and had the bowl of treats by my feet. They rang the bell a few times as they thought I was a dummy, then, they saw the bowl. The boy reached in to grab a treat and just then I grabbed his hand. I said, "What are you doing”. He screamed and ran down the driveway. I still laugh when I tell this story.

   This year, I was feeling down because Halloween was coming and I knew the kids would not be coming to the Condo for treats. So, not only was I not going to be able to decorate, get in costume with my daughter but, there were no kids coming either.

     That being the case, I knew I had to go to my sister’s where Halloween was happening. She would have little ones coming for treats and decorations, and the grand children would be putting on a costume and getting all excited.

     I was still using a cane at this point. So, we arranged for my brother-in-law to pick me up and then my Hunny would join us for dinner when he came to get me later.

      The children were so excited my grandniece was going as the Queen of Hearts and my grandnephew was Captain America. They were so excited.

     I was going to be passing out candy probably for the last time. I not only had to get too the door when it rang without falling but also before the kids gave up waiting on the other side.  The other challenge was going to be giving the treats without falling on the children. With MSA when you reach for something, or reach forward it is very easy to lose your balance.  I usually have no warning, and just fall. This is a common symptom of MSA. The treats were up high enough so I did not have to lean over too far and the door opened to the left so I could hold the doorframe when passing out the treats. I am going to get an Oscar Award when this is all over.


It is the little things in life that provide us with so much pleasure!

Our Anniversary

     September was our 26^th anniversary.  We kept it low key; I could not help but reflect to just one year ago...  how this MSA has changed everything.It is more than a diagnosis. all those plans and dreams have changed. 
To think, we were finally at a time in our lives where our kids were grown, doing well and on their own and we were young and could start doing things we had planned.
  

    Another milestone, around the same time (while waiting for diagnosis), was our 25th Anniversary.   Leading up to this day, my husband did something special for 25 consecutive days. 
     We were planning on going hiking around Scotland and visiting Romania for our 25th.  That was where my parents were from…but I guess that is not going to happen now.

     Our kids decided to have a party for us. They had our family who lived in the area and some friends.  We have always liked to keep things low key, so it was small and intimate.   

     I still had not been diagnosed with MSA when our children had the party, but the signs were there. I remember my balance being so affected that I just had water to drink because I did not want anyone to think I was drunk. I even kept changing my shoes to make sure they were flat as possible. I kept loosing my balance and falling against the wall. I knew I had to manage to keep it all together for our children and for this occasion.  

     We were remodeling the guest bathroom on the main floor so I left a pen for people to sign the wall. Very ghetto but fun, we knew we would be painting over it.

     Our children did a wonderful job and their speeches brought tears to my eyes, so very hard not to burst out crying. They had spoke of how wonderful it is to see so much love all through their growing. We are so lucky we decided to have children right away. We got to spend so very much with them.

  We  sat and watch the slide show our children had made for us.
 So many memories gone but so many still to come!