Jamaica Here We Come

  Now that the pressure of selling the house was over we decided to take a trip to Jamaica, as soon as we celebrated our daughter's birthday!   


     On the 13th our daughter celebrated her 22nd birthday at a Japanese Village restaurant. It was very neat, they cooked the food right in front of us.  They definitely put on a show! It was a lot of fun. I am glad we got to celebrate with her. 


     Four days later, we left for Jamaica, where it all began 25 years ago. We had gone here for our honeymoon.  

       

   Usually, when we go on vacaion we do lots of hiking and walking around to see the sites but we had to verbally agree that this trip was strickly for relaxation.  Our son spent the night so he could take us to the airport and we could give him our winter coats. Wouldn't be needing them for a few days, ten in fact!  
        
    We went to the Couples Tower Isle Resort (http://couples.com/tower-isle/). An all inclusive resort, this is a very new concept for us. We promised each other that we would do lots of lying in the sun, reading, swimming, having Jamaican drinks  and just be spontaneous.

     We left Ottawa at -20 and arrived to +30. It felt so good to feel the heat. We checked in a went on a tour.  First night dinner was on the beach. It was hard to walk in the sand but, I managed. The Jamacian rum might of had something to do with it. After dinner, we stayed to watch the local entertainment.

   
The next day, we got up had breakfast, and found out all there was to do.  There are three restaurants, you must have reservations for these or you don't get in. So, first order of business was making these reservations. After, we went to see what activites we might want to do, so we registered for the catamaran tour. There is so much right at the resort.  Paddle boats, para sailing, horseback riding, and much more, it is impossible to get bored. 

   The second night, we were walking by the restaurant called the Verdanah  and there was no one there, so, we thought this was the perfect time to go. The night before the line was ridiculous. We had zucchini for an appetizer, then the salad. We then had pork, mashed sweet potatoes, and banana flambé for dessert and of course we had a merlot with this. After dinner, we went to listen to the steel drums.

      
     

     The following night we ate at a very elegant place called Eight Rivers
(http://couples.com/tower-isle/restaurants-bars.php). It was very novel because instead of sitting opposite each other you sit side by side, very romanitc. We had a pinot noir with bread and dipping oil  followed by salad then fish of the day, and dessert and coffee. Very scrumptious! After dinner we walked around and went to the piano bar.  It was very relaxing the dinner was served at just the right speed.

      We ate at the Bayside Asian restaurant which is located on a dock on the Caribbean Sea (http://couples.com/tower-isle/restaurants-bars.php).  Throughout the whole meal you get to hear the sound of the ocean. We had Asian spring rolls, Pad Thai, and lobster. 

     
      Each day we went to the gym thank goodness, with all the great food and drinks it would be easy to pack on the weight. They give the new comers a tour of the grounds upon arrival and when they got to the gym we were always in there. Now, I know how the animals at the zoo feel!
 They are all about service  and you definitely get your money's worth. I must mention there is an island where people go au "natural". There is a boat which ferries people back and for all day. It is quite busy. Only if we were brave enough.

     We were suppose to go for a tour on the catamaran but we had second thoughts as we would be out on the ocean for two hours with no bathroom and without seating for everyone. I must think of these things now. I tend to overheat as I have a problem sweating, so my body has a hard time cooling off.  We did go in the ocean for a bit, it was like bathtub water but I did not really swim too much. Sometimes, my legs stop kicking without me noticing until I start sinking.

     Towards the end I was not feeing very good. A lot of cramps in my feet and legs. There is nothing I can do when this happens, just wait for them to relax. Our time on the island had come to an end. Regrettably, it was back to reality.  More pictures can be viewed of our wonderful trip by clicking the link.

(https://www.facebook.com/media/set/?set=a.10150366430420515.604747.683105514&type=1&l=3b8d18016c)

    

     




    We had a marvelous ten days on the island. It was over all to fast. I now to have to psyche myself up for moving out of the house and condo living. Not only new house but new location.

 I will surely get an Oscar when this is all over!

Selling The House

     Now that Chistmas was  over it was time to think of the inevitable. I took down the Christmas decorations and had a major melt down. I know it will be the last time decorating this house.  This was the house we picked when we came with the military some 7 years ago.  We were only here six months when I asked Hunny if he wanted to reitre here. We had fallen in love with this city.  This was not only the longest we lived anywhere, we remodeled the whole house inside an out. We made it ours!

 

     There were just so many memories. It was very hard on my kids as well Especially my daugheter. Our son has been gone wth the miltary for the past 7 years but  came home on holidays and vacations. For our daughter the house was her home. She had lived here throughtout Seconary school, started unniversity, and brought all her friends here. Our daughter knew how tough it was for me to leave this house and the memories. She bought me a gorgeous plaque about a home. So sweet and thoughtful!

     Hunny heard me having my melt down and he came and took me in his arms and held me. I am so fortuante to have him, he knows he doesn't have to try to fix everything, and sometimes nothing can be said or done. So he justs holds me and lets me cry. Sometimes being strong doesn't mean not crying, it means wiping your tears and continuing on.

 We thought it best to get away from stairs so we decided to move into a condo. Everything was there that we needed. It is huge place, 1600 sq ft. There is a pool, sauna, common area, gym, entertainment room and there are three guest rooms that we can rent out if we have to. It has nine foot ceilings and windows all across the front and it is located in a great part of town. The reality is I have to think about my husband, would it really be fair to stay in the house when I know Hunny will have to do more for me as time goes by? It would not be fair, after a long day at work, to expect him to come home and take care of the house, gardening, shoveling and me. He would have no free time and no us time and this not an option. 

     Everything was happening so fast for me. We were selling the house buying a condo, moving and trying to deal with MSA. I just prayed that the house sold fast so I did not have to go through this for a long period. I felt as though I did not really belong anywhere. My whole life was turned upside down. I do not belong in the house as we decided to sell, I do not belong in the condo, yet, and I do not belong with my friends, as I am not quite the same person, and I do not belong with support groups as they are much older than me and already have fewer abilities than me, and I do not belong in the gym as I cannot and will never be able to perform like I was or get better. So, I needed to figure out where I belonged. Even though we were trying to be proactive it does not mean it is without feeling. 


     Since I was not working anymore I had noticed everyone leaves Orleans to go to work, and it is as if I was the last survivor of a nuclear explosion, that being said, we decided to move to Westboro.  Each window there is a different view and most importantly there is Living going on. On one side is the Ottawa River and the other there are lots of shops and cafes, although I was sad to leave my previous house, I realized it would be fun living here. 

The house sold in two days!!!

We decided a trip was in order!! Jamaica here we come

Christmas 2010

    Once back in Nova Scotia we had a night to rest.The next day my sister made a full turkey dinner with all the trimmings, even homemade cranberry sauce. Yummy! She loves to entertain and it shows. That evening my brother-in-law took us to the airport. I had such a great trip and all my family did such a great job taking care of me, I will be forever greatful!

   I was happy to retun to Ottawa with my Hunny. All the emotional strain was getting to me.

We had decided to be proactive in fighting this condition, so before going to Cape Breton we had decided on selling the house. Even though we had decided this it was tough coming back and seeing the for sale sign on the lawn. This would be our last Christmas in this house and wanted it to be special, and having MSA I know how fast it can travel, who knew what condtion I would be in next year. I was having a lot of balance issues and the stress of just knowing what was to come was tough. I knew I could not worry about this now as I only had three days to make Christmas.      

      

     Luckily we had done all the decorating before going to Cape Breton. Usually my daugher and I decorate the tree while listening to Christmas music. She creates a CD, we sip hot chocolate and decoarte. This felt so good, such fond memories.  Each year the kids make two types of goodies themselves. We also make a fruit cake which is an old family recipe, over 100 years old. Christmas is a huge event in my family and all the years we spent in the miltary,(almost all of our married life) we have been away from family. I realized at a young age I would have to make our own traditions to replace the family so far away. I always wanted my kids to want to be home for Christmas and it to be a warm and special feeling for them.

      

Even though the kids live in the same city they wanted to spend the night and the son-in-law, that way so we all get up together Christmas morning.  I thought it was a great idea, most children can't wait to be away from their parents, but ours want to be closer and this makes me very proud.

   

     On Chsistmas Eve my sister and her family  come over and we have finger food and then everyone puts on a Santa's hat and we do a gift exchange. The tradition is no gifts under the tree until Christmas Eve, except the gifts from away. We all get new pj's and my kids buy me a pair.  Around midnight I say," I am going to bed", and this is Santa's que that he can come.  Santa comes and puts all the gifts under the tree for the next morning.  The kids do not like to see the tree until Christmas morning so we turn off all the lights and they avoid this room until the next morning. They even put their hand by their eye to block the vision on this side so as to make sure they do not see the tree.

      Usually Christmas morning my son is the first one up. He cannot sleep on Christmas Eve. So he usually asks if it is time to get up, no one will go downstairs until eveyone is up. I go down, put the coffee on and turn the lights tree lights and Christmas lights are left on all night from the night before.  Then the kids come down and are usally awe struck, it is like entering Santa's workshop.  Before the gift opening we put the Baby Jesus in the Manager and say Happy Birthday to him, then we get down to busniess of unwraping. We do one gift at a time so everyone can see what the other person got and from whom. It lasts a couple of hours. Then it is breakfast and then the turkey dinner. We stay in our pj's until the afternoon and there are no visitor's as it is a day, just family. 

      

For New Year's Year Eve, Hunny and I decided to celebrate at home. 
 We have a big year ahead and want it to strart off right.
 Welcome 2011!!

Wedding in Cape Breton

     Now that everyone was aware of my diagnosis of MSA, it was time to face them. I knew this would be extremely hard. Even though I didn't look or act different in the beginning, I feel so different on the inside. It feels like I am going out of control on a bike but the breaks are not working, so I need to learn a new way of slowing down without falling on my face. I knew that intial meeting was going to be so tough.

    My sister that lives here in Ottawa and my niece were both going to Cape Breton as well. Thankfully, they were great and I did not realize how the stress was affecting me until it was time to go.  I felt so shaky on the inside. 

    We arrived in Halifax to be greeted by my sister who lived there at the time. I had a little melt down at this point but tried to regain my composure and talk about the trip and how thankful I was to have my older sister and my niece with me. We stayed in Halifax over night and we were treated like princesses.

   
   When I booked my flight I never even considered it was a 5 hour car ride to my hometown of New Waterford. What would I do about the bathroom? I would have to ask to stop at least every hour. As it turns out I never had to ask once, my brother-in-law thought of all this before hand and never once put me the situation of having to ask. It is these little things that mean so much now.

     


     The night before our drive, we celebrated one sister's 57th birthday. Her birthday was actually the day we were going to be on the road. We had a very lovely dinner. Homemade seafood chowder, and lobster, yummy. We had a nice celebration for my sister. 

      The next day was the drive, so we left early. We stopped often and got there around 7 hours later. Another sister was celebrating her 50th, so the plan was to arrive there for a surprise party.  We knew she would just think everyone was  coming to greet the people arriving from away. It would be a great surprise for her. This was great, but, inside I was so nervous because I knew this would be my first time seeing everyone after the news, and with a house full of people.  "Be strong, be strong", I kept telling myself. We got to the house and as suspected everyone was there, this was so nice for my two sister's, the first time they had the whole family together at their birthday!

    Believe it or not, I did keep it together and we had fun. They brought in a huge cake made by my sister-in-law which had everyone's name on it. It was a nice touch. 

     It was good to see everyone! I would be staying at my sister's who had the 50th surprise party. After everyone left,  we talked, cried and just held each other. I wondered how I was going to get through this...

     My nephews had gotten a gift certificate for their mom and me to get our nails done. This was a real treat as I had never had this done before.  Very sweet. 

     We got some visiting done while there.  I saw some great old friends.  When I was very small, I was always down at the lighthouse. The Lighthouse Keeper's daughters were my best friends. I knew I would have to see them and their mom and explain. That afternoon, one daughter stopped to see me. You know that feeling when everything is going well until you hear a certain question? Well, that is exactly what happened.  I was able to talk about MSA textbook-wise but when I would relate this to myself, this is where it got hard. I had another meltdown. My friend felt so bad and I felt bad for her.  All the emotional stress was getting to me.  I tried to explain to her what MSA was. I now know that hearing this she was in shock as well. That family was always so good to me, I am so thankful to have had so many caring people around me always.  When I went to see them at their Mom's, it was very hard to explain. I remember I was sobbing uncontrollably. They could not believe it either... I was the health nut, so, how could this be happening? We remembered, I was always  so fast at running, when we would have races, I always won, so, I would have to run barefoot to give them an advatage. We  biked, ran and swam for hours and just had so much fun together.  Some great memories. I managed to get through it and promised to stay in touch.

     The next day was going to busy because we had a wedding to pull together. So, we all got together to decorate the hall. How much joy there must be knowing so many people are coming to help you celebrate?  The hall looked beautiful!

     Finally the wedding day had arrived. We all got to the church to see the ceremony. 


     After the ceremony, we had some time before the reception. We all got together at another sister's house to wait.


    Then, came time for the reception.  When we got their it was  full of people.  We never thought about this and should have reserved seating. How was I going to manuver around the tables, and how would I get my food and walk back to the table with it? I know it had not been long since my diagnosis but I was already having other problems, like falling off balance, and I was nervous about walking back holding a plate of food with all these people.  I am normally okay in a small setting but once you put me a crowd it becomes very tough.  I could not look around and walk, I can only look straight ahead, otherwise I become off balance. Luckily, one my nieces offered to carry my food for me.

     I found a spot to sit where I would not have to move to much, in a corner, not far from the bathroom.  Everything was gorgeous, my sister had a beautiful wedding.  I got more comfortable as the night went along, so I went to talk to some old famiy friends.  We chatted for while, and at one point all my sister's got on the dance floor to dance to Cindy Lauper's, Girls Just Want to Have Fun. Then, they noticed that I was sitting down and called for me to go up.  I forgot to mention before hand that I could not dance anymore.  The signal does not get from that part of my body to the brain.  I resemble a 90 year old trying to move, and it would be too embarassing for me. I just wanted to go over to my seat, then, someone started saying, " Your family wants you to dance with them, go up with them".  This was just too much because I wanted more than anything to go up there. 

     I knew I had to get to the bathroom so no one would see the tears. Thankfully this time the bathroom was downstairs, and the music would drown me out.  I got down the stairs but there were tears streaming down my face. I passed a man on the way, who wanted to know if I was okay. Thoughtful man.   I got in the stall and could not hold it back. The tears just started streaming and I was sobbing again. There was woman in the next stall, poor thing, she kept asking if I was okay.  I assured her I was.  I did not realize until afterwards that I had not seen her face but she probably recognized what shoes I had on. When she got upstairs, she told one of my sisters I was down there crying. I felt like I should have stayed home, as I was ruining my sister's special day. I was trying to hold it together but that was too much. 

     I have aways loved dancing, in fact when my husband I would go out I would warn him to make sure he wore his dancing shoes.  We would dance all night, but those days are over.  My family came down to cosole me in the bathroom. I got it together and we went upstairs. Thankfully the bride and groom were busy and did not notice.  The rest of the night went well.  Then, I was getting ready to leave and one of my brother's said," if we waltz, I will be holding you, then you can dance".  I said,"yes".  He said, "good then let's  walstz". He said, "Now you can say you danced at your sister's wedding". So very sweet and thoughful.  I thanked him and after that said good night. What a perfect ending to an emotional day.

    The next day was going to be hard again because we were leaving to drive back.  So, the next morning I got up and packed and had breakfast. Then, I helped my sister decorate her tree. Something that we had not done since we were small girls living at home. It turned out gorgeous. 

    We then went up to my other sister's where we were leaving from. Not realizing I had eaten, my brother stopped and got some of the family's favorite, homemade bread and cheese whiz. Thankfully, the rest had not eaten yet. Thoughtful gesture. We had a few laughs, then was time to say good bye until the next time.